


A Thousand Words Are Left Unsaid

by PagesDescending



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, half life but the ai is self aware
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Angst, Autistic Benrey (Half-Life), Autistic Tommy Coolatta, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, My First Fanfic, and yeah Benrey's dialogue is also gonna be lowercased like theirs, at least on here anyways!, honestly i'm really excited to post this aaaa, huuuge thanks to Liz for allowing me to do this!!, reverse version of catmint's mermaid au fic, this is the side where you guys get so see what Joshie is experiencing!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25321960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PagesDescending/pseuds/PagesDescending
Summary: Joshua Freeman had experienced a lot of strange things in his life as a siren. Strong currents pulling him away, an electric eel bit him on the tail once.But nothing could prepare him when he was stripped away from his school by humans. The fear, the terror, all the blood in the water. It was overwhelming.His school was torn apart, hisfamily was no more..This would be a wild ride..Who knows, maybe he'll learn a thing or two.. just maybe.Hey! You there! This is inspired byCrackheadMossMan'sfanfictionThe Ocean Isn't So Scary!!This is the Point Of View of Joshua Freeman inA Spring and a StormbyDemizorua!!
Relationships: Benrey & Forzen (Half-Life), Benrey & Joshua Freeman, Benrey & Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Darnold & Forzen (Half-Life), Tommy Coolatta & Darnold
Comments: 10
Kudos: 101





	1. Observant

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Ocean Isn’t So Scary](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329575) by [CrackheadMossMan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrackheadMossMan/pseuds/CrackheadMossMan). 
  * Inspired by [Spring and a Storm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24848821) by [demizorua](https://archiveofourown.org/users/demizorua/pseuds/demizorua). 



> Heya!! This is my first ever fanfiction on here, so I _reaaaally_ do hope you enjoy!! My updating status might be wonky, as inspiration comes and goes, but keep a lookout for updates when they come!!!

It was the simple things at first, the hum of the machines, how bright the lights were, muffled sounds, is what woke Joshua up. His brain was muddled with sleep, at first wondering what was going on, why was the area around him so bright? Why was the water so cold? More importantly, where was Dad? Usually he was intertwined with the leviathan’s coils, a gesture used to protect him and keep him hidden from anything that might lash out at them.

It was slow, but soon the memories caught up to him, everything that happened.. Who knows how long ago. The fear, the snarling of the others and the loud, raspy sound of his father’s song. The crimson that lit up the area around them, caused by strange things the.. humans held. He’d never really understood the stories his father told him at first, talking about the similarities they held with them, but how vicious they were. How they always tried to threaten the lives of sirens no matter the consequences, how apathetic they were towards them, like they were merely objects for their entertainment. He never understood, not until now though.

He only snapped out of his thoughts at the twinge of pain he felt in his tail. He slowly relaxed after realizing he was digging his claws into his tail, letting out a breath. For as much as he worried, he calmed down at the thought of his father trying to work a way to rescue him, somehow, he’d find a way..

Straightening his back from his semi-curled position, he sat up, rubbing at his eyes. The area around him looked strange, all grey, some things straightening up to create ledges. Blocks of the grey stuff laid upon it, some lights flickering on them, some of them colored, some of them just white. He blinked, head turning to movement beside the enclosure he was in, eyes widening.

There laid Forzen, arms crossed as he blankly stared ahead, looking bored as usual. He slowly edged away from the jellyfish, fingers curling into fists at the mere sight of the other siren. He laid in the same tank he was in, some type of translucent barrier around it. It warped his figure slightly as Joshua looked at him, although he stayed motionless, besides the occasional motion of his idle tentacles. He didn’t make a move, not even as his pupil-less eyes made contact with Joshua’s. Or when the young mer edged away, wincing under his gaze. He glanced around for anything but Forzen, he didn’t want to look at him, not after everything that happened.

It was fairly easy to distract himself, other movements catching his eyes. White jackets(?) laid around the humans that worked outside, some on the strange ledges, some on the ground. He blinked, looking around at the group, five humans, milling around. Some fiddled with the grey blocks and some were writing things down on paper. None of them seemed to notice he was awake at first, before one of them looked up.

He had dark skin, and short, black hair that grayed at the sides. His dark brown eyes locked with Joshua’s at first, before looking him over. He had a blue shirt with a red strip of fabric that went from his neck down past his chest. He had white fabric around his legs, which got the siren to tilt his head. How did those humans work with those? He didn’t know he would be able to use them, already so used to have his long, and winding tail. He glanced down at it, it blended with his human torso at his waist, the color a deep, almost gray looking black. He ran a hand through his hair, which he noted now floated around freely unlike before, where it was tied up. He let out a short huff, lowering his hand from the reddish-brown mess, and feeling a few bubbles exit his gills.

He glanced up, and the man was gone, but he easily found him again, as the rest of the humans grouped up, taking occasional glances at him. He felt uneasy again, their gazes not purely curious like the ones he’d seen on other mers. They were filled with.. Something he couldn’t really describe. Like hunger or.. something malicious. He didn’t like it. 

The only thing he could really do now is swim back until he went as far as he could away from the group, even if they were still far away. He nestled into a corner, wrapping his tail around himself, hugging it against his chest. He felt a bit more protected, but still vulnerable, starting to hate how open and empty of life the tank was. There was no sand, no shells, not large stone faces to hide in, just empty nothing.

It made him feel scared.

There was nothing he could squeeze his body into, to hide from the humans. Nothing to throw at them or use to defend himself, not that he was good at that to begin with. He let out a soft sigh, filled with anxiety and worry, both for himself, and the rest of the school. He hoped nothing terrible had come to them yet..

He couldn't bear the thought of his school-- his _family_ being in pain. It just.. it hurt to think that way, not physically, but he swore he could feel his heart squeeze painfully at the thought. Even Forzen. He saw the jellyfish panicking once, how his figure wavered, whatever made him up shifting around like waves flooding onto sand. How he actually had emotion in his voice instead of a monotone. It made him.. scared, to say the least, to see Forzen like that. Chanting his name and how he liked something called "Beyblades" and "Irate Gamer".

He actually knew what Beyblades were. Kind of. Maybe. Little plasticky things that had some sort of triangular, rounded shape on the bottom, and a flat top with some sort of strange, jagged design. He found one once and thought it was a strange stone, bringing it to his school after one of his escapades. He tried showing it off to his father before Forzen asked to hold it, and when he did, he actually looked.. _happy_ for once! It lasted a bit, before the topic was moved on and Forzen forgot the subject like he usually did. He always kept him with it though, just like the strange hat he always wore. He never did give an actual explanation besides; "It gives us comfort."

Joshua looked over to the siren he was thinking about, seeing him in the same position and having the same look on his face as before. The only difference was that he was staring at the humans, his mouth moving. Was he mimicking the way the humans spoke?

Joshua let out a soft chuckle, having a smidgen of comfort brought to him in Forzen's strange ways. He edged back in his tank, away from the humans and from Forzen. Not intentional on the latter, of course.

The smile on his face dropped a bit, eyebrows creased in worry once again as he thought of his dad. Again. He knew he was strong, that's what leviathans were for! Protecting the school, helping defend them in danger and in any other way. He used to be such a worry-warmouth, always checking up on him and making sure he didn't go too far. He used to be annoyed at this, but now, thinking back? He practically begged to be back with him, have the other eel siren chide him for getting too close to some heat vents or swimming off too far to try and catch some fish. At least then he felt comforted and safe, instead of anxious and.. kinda cold.

Seriously, why was it so cold in this water??

He shivered, curling his tail around him and curling up into them. It provided some warmth, and comfort, but it didn't keep the chill off for long. He glanced around the outside again, shivering just slightly as he looked at the humans. There were only three left, including the one that looked at him.

That one looked up from writing something down, beside another human with reddish-brown hair. Like his dad's, but redder. He turned and said something to the other, who nodded and went to one of the grey blocks that was on the ground.

Slowly, just barely, he felt the water temperature rise up, and he sighed, relaxing again. He still stayed curled up though, leaning back in the still-cold walls of the tank. This was all so.. strange and surreal. He almost believed that if he went back to sleep, he'd wake up, and it'd just be some wild dream. He'd be back with Jen and her weird human stuff in her bag. With his dad who helped him on his hunts and guided him away from the deeper parts of the territory. Back with Forzen and his blank stare and strange mutterings. Everything would be normal, and nothing would have captured or.. wounded them.

He didn't even realize he was growing tired as he thought until he felt something brush his tail, making him jump a little. It turned out it was just his hair, and he was leaning over, his eyelids heavier than earlier.

He let out a small hum, shifting back a bit and piling his coils onto him more, nuzzling his face into them a bit. He took a deep breath, and sighed, bubbles blowing from his gills and nose. He leaned his head back, and closed his eyes, praying to whatever was out there that everyone would turn out okay, no matter what would happen after this if it turned out to not be a dream.

He then slipped into sleep easily, letting the darkness encase him comfortingly, muffling the noises and easing his heart.


	2. Curious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joshua shenanigans and the oc arrives! She's just here for plot purposes, nothing more :00c

It was dark, except for the lights around the tank, lighting it up. That's what he noticed when he first woke up again.

Joshua blinked and yawned, rubbing at his eyes, grumbling quietly to himself. He let out a short huff, raising up his arms and stretching out, feeling his elbows and back pop. He lashed his tail a bit to lessen the tense pain from being curled up for a long time, in it.

Rubbing at his neck, and gently over his gills, he glanced around. Everything _seemed_ normal, just.. dark. Quiet. Was it nighttime? That was his guess.

He was saddened, for a bit, slightly longing to look at the Still Ocean again, see the twinkling plankton and the strange, puffy things that floated in it sometimes. The large, white orb that moved painstakingly slow until day arrived again. He sighed, crossing his arms.

..and then he got to thinking.

What if he could just.. escape?? He could get out of the tank, and try to see the Still Ocean again, and get back in! And if he couldn't, the humans would understand, right? Yeah!

With the plan in place, Joshua glanced around, the fins on his head pricked for any noise. There was nothing to hold on to, not around him anyways. So he looked up.

There wasn't a top on the tank! That was promising!! He swam up, surfacing slowly, still not really used to the transition from water to air, it felt weird, but somehow, the humans were able to do it. So could he!!

Inching around the edges, he narrowed his eyes, focusing on the task at hand. The top was farther up than the surface of the water, and a ledge was nearby the top of the walls. If he could somehow get on top of the walls of the tank, he could grip the ledge, and climb up!

He nodded to himself, looking at how far away the top of the walls were. It was pretty far up, so he'd probably have to jump. Not a problem for Joshua Freeman!!

He lowered himself back underwater, coiling his tail. After a moment of hesitation, he sped upwards, breaking the surface of the water, and flying up to grab the edge..!

..But he missed, his eyes widened as his hand missed about a foot away from the edge, feeling himself fall backwards.

"No..!" He called out to no one, splashing against the water and feeling bubbles rise up from where his body hit the water's surface. He growled to himself, a frustrated, raspy hissing sound, as he shook himself, using his clawed hands to comb his hair back, which floated into his face.

He wasn't giving up just yet! He couldn't! He _won't!!_

He turned around, pupils narrowed at the edge like it insulted him, floating downwards and coiling his tail up again. This time, put some more power into jetting upwards, breaching again, arms above his head.

When he felt his hand hook around the edge, he gripped tight, feeling a toothy smile spread across his face. He did it!! Dad would've been proud, he knew he'd be!!

He struggled to pull himself up, wriggling with his tail. It didn't help that the barrier was smooth, no ridges to hold onto or anything. He added that to the mental list of things he hated about this place, nothing to climb.

Instead, he tried swinging his tail back and forth, in an attempt to at _least_ hook the end on the other side so he could wriggle on top of it.

He was almost there, just one more push--

" _HEY!!_ "

The loud voice startled him out of his thoughts, causing him to let go and dive head-first back into the water. He let out a bark of frustration, lifting himself to see who caught him off guard.

It was a human. Not only that, but one that had a fairly worried look on her face as she rushed over, some things in her arms.

"Oh shi- _shoot_. Shoot. M' so sorry about that. Are you okay? You hurt?" She asked, crouching down. Joshua recoiled back a bit, showing off his teeth and claws in a defensive way, warning her. As if he could attack her from behind the barrier.

"Hey, hey. Don't- don't worry. I'm not here to hurt you, not at all. I won't attack you. Um.. see?" She made a slow motion in setting the things in her arms down on the floor, raising her arms and keeping her hands open, showing there was nothing in them. Then she made a show of sitting down, crossing her legs.

Her skin was light, and across her face were darker freckles, like his, but without the patches of golden scales! Her hair was light too, almost looking like a shell that was sunbleached to a yellow-off white. Her brown eyes were filled with sympathy as she watched him.

She wore a white jacket like the other humans, a white shirt with red stripes underneath, with brown fabric around her legs. As well as black things that looked like she slipped onto her feet. Everything about her seemed almost the same to the other humans.

..but why was she so nice..?

"See? No harm, no foul. M' not here to hurt you, just to watch over you two, to make sure nothing happens." She reassured him, placing her hands into her lap. She had a soft smile, which made Joshua calm down, if by a little bit.

"So! Uhm, my name is Anna. Anna Robins. You don't need to tell me your name, but it'd be better than calling you.. _'subject'_ or something." She said, ending off with an awkward chuckle. Joshua thought for a bit, before sighing and curling up on the floor of the tank, placing his hands on his tail.

"..Joshua. Joshua Freeman." He said, looking up from staring at the ground and back up at her again. She blinked, seemingly surprised, before smiling again. He liked her smile.

"Joshua, huh? Well, it's nice to meet you, Joshua!" She said, at first going for a handshake before realizing they were separated by the barrier. He saw this, thought for a second, before placing his hand on it. This took her by surprise again, as _he_ smiled this time.

"We can't shake hands, so this'll be the next best thing!" He chirped, watching as she put her relatively larger hand on his, on the opposite side of the barrier.

"That's pretty smart, kid." She said, as Joshua looked her hand over. The nails on the ends of her fingers were rounded, and blunt, with a little white coloration at the tips. That was strange, how was she supposed to hunt?

He was about to ask this, when he heard footsteps, tensing, he looked at where it was coming from. Some type of slab of grey that was sectioned off from the surrounding parts, with a small window through it. He watched as another human passed, unable to see it's eyes from the shadow that was cast by the hat on it's head. From what he could tell, it wore something blue, under something black, before it disappeared.

"Who.. Who was _that?_ " He asked, looking back at Anna.

"Probably one of the guards, don't worry. They just walk around, making sure no one gets in trouble." She said, to which Joshua lit up, smiling.

"Like- Like Leviathans!!" He said, wiggling his tail. So it _was_ true, humans _did_ have schools! That's amazing!!

"Levia-who??" Anna asked, tilting her head slightly, causing the ponytail of her hair move. Joshua blinked at that, would she have any other tie-things left over for him? He'd have to ask later, for now, he could teach her!!

"Leviathans!! My dad's one! They're _biiig_ sirens that protect your whole school! Usually there's like, two! But sometimes, there could be more or less depending on the size of the school!! One time, me and my dad came across a school that had _five leviathans!!!_ It was really cool! They were really nice and-" He paused to take a breath from rambling, starting up again. "-they didn't even attack Forzen!! That's the jellyfish over there!"

He pointed at the motionless being in the other tank, who's arms were crossed, asleep.

"He doesn't do much, but he's a part of _our_ school!" He cheered, looking back over to the human, catching her attention again. "How big is your school? How many leviathans are inn'um??"

There was a noticeable pause from her, before she let out a puff of a breath, rubbing her neck.

"I.. don't really have one. M' a lone wo- er.. viperfish? Yeah I guess, a lone viperfish. Don't really have anyone besides my pets." She said, looking back up at him, putting her hand back on her lap.

At first, Joshua was going to ask her how she got by alone, schools were important to survival! More to protect you, more to hunt! More to care for.

But at the mention of pets, he brightened up again, beaming with a sharp smile.

"You have pets?! Can I see'um?! Can you bring them here???" He asked rapidly, unable to hold in the wiggles of his tail as he spoke.

"I can't really.. _bring_ them here. But, I do have this!" She said, sticking her hand into the pocket of the jacket and pulling out a piece of paper, unfolding it. It was.. a picture.

A large, four legged beast was staring at the camera, head tilted. It's body was covered in black fur, but it's face, chest, and legs had brown on it. It had something around it's neck, bright blue, and with a diamond-shaped, silver piece dangling off of it. Beside it was, what he thought at first, a large lump of black algae, until he saw the blue eyes, that is. It was significantly smaller than the other beast, and it's fur looked longer and fluffier, the ears on it's head tapered to a point. It also had something around it's neck, neon orange with the same dangling piece.

All in all, they looked.. weird, and kind of scary, but it was confusing on how they would defend themselves. They looked.. harmless, like pieces of kelp that could easily be taken down by a wave.

"This is Bella, the one on the right," the larger beast, he noted. "and Artemis, the one on the left." The fluffier beast.

"What.. What are they? They don't look like anything I've seen in the sea." That got a chuckle out of the human, who tucked away the image.

"Bella is a dog, a rottweiler, to be exact. And Artemis is a cat. You've never seen them in the sea, because they don't belong there! They can't breathe in the sea like you do, they breathe air!" She said, using a hand to prop herself up and lean against the tank's barrier as she spoke.

"Huh. They look weird!! Like, nothing to use as threat displays, no visible claws or spines, nothing to use as flashing markings, none of anything we have!" He said, waving his hands to emphasize. Anna scoffed, but shook her head, failing to hide a roll of her eyes.

"I guess, yeah. To you maybe.." She said. There was a pause of quietness, a good, comfortable kind, before she spoke up again.

"Did you use to have any pets?"

And thus he went into a ramble about Coral the Leafy Sea Dragon and it's adventures, glad to have a listening ear from the human for once.

..Maybe some humans weren't bad, after all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I made any mistakes in this, please let me know, as well as the chapter before!! Thank you!!!!


End file.
